Leaders Can Change Their Blindspots: It Starts With Behavior

When it comes to personal growth and self-improvement, we often believe that we can change and become a new person. However, a recent study suggests that people tend to overestimate their own change and underestimate the change perceived by others.

A study conducted by researchers found that when asked if they had changed in the past 10 years, people usually say they’ve changed quite a lot. However, when those researchers ask their family and friends, they report seeing little or no change. This discrepancy highlights the complexity of self-perception and how others perceive us.

Do Life Experiences Change Who We Are?

One explanation for this mismatch is that we tend to value the importance of our life experiences, while others anchor on the stable personality traits they know us for. We are aware of how we have responded to significant life experiences, such as a breakup, job loss, or a major move, and we often rewrite our personal narrative after these events. However, our family and friends see it differently, focusing on the traits they have observed over time.

This distinction is crucial because it points toward the part of ourselves where change is most possible: our behavior. Our personality is stable by adulthood, but our behavior is not fixed. We can decide how we show up in the world and change our behavior to become more effective and impactful.

What We Can Change: Our Behavior

Our behavior is how we show up in the world, making it one of our biggest sources of blindspots and also one of our biggest opportunities for change. By recognizing and changing our automatic responses, we can become more effective and make a positive impact on others.

Behavior change starts with awareness: recognizing the pattern, understanding when and why it shows up, and then identifying what we could do differently. We can identify the target behavior, find the trigger, and then identify the new behavior. By making the change concrete, we can practice it in specific situations, create reminders, and hold ourselves accountable. Reviewing and revising our plan is also essential to ensure we are on the right track.

How Behavior Change Works

Behavior change is not about trying to become a new person but intentionally noticing an old response and practicing a more effective one. It’s about recognizing the pattern, understanding when and why it shows up, and then identifying what we could do differently. This process is not about changing who we are but changing how we show up in the world.

My coaching experience has taught me that small behavior changes can have a big impact. You don’t have to change who you are; you can change how you show up. And when you change how you show up, you change your impact.

Humans are pattern-seeking beings, and we tend to respond automatically to familiar situations. However, by becoming more aware of our automatic responses and identifying what we could do differently, we can change our behavior and become more effective. This is the critical turn in behavior change: instead of trying to become a different person, we practice a different response.

Small Behavior Changes Can Have a Big Impact

Improvement at work is possible, and it doesn’t require changing who you are. Instead, it requires seeing yourself clearly enough to recognize when one of your default responses is getting in your way and becoming intentional about what you do instead. By changing our behavior, we can change our impact and become more effective in our personal and professional lives.