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Battles over aging parents and their fortunes are becoming increasingly common in wealthy families, with some requiring cognitive assessments for those leading family businesses.

While many families focus on the tax or financial components of wealth transfers, fewer are addressing the question of when an aging parent should give up control, wealth advisors and lawyers told CNBC.

Waiting until a parent’s cognitive decline is apparent can leave families scrambling over who controls their fortune.

Experts offer four tips to make it easier for parents to pass on the reins to the family business.
The biggest mistake that families make is waiting for a crisis like a stroke or a disagreement to discuss succession, according to Mallory Findley of Rockefeller Capital Management.
By then, emotions are running high and sometimes trust is already broken, she said.
The better approach is to begin while everyone is capable of participating really thoughtfully — as we like to say — while they’re happy and healthy and here.
Meaningful life events, like selling the family business or a birth in the family, make for natural points to evaluate future plans.
Tact is everything, according to Mark Parthemer, chief wealth strategist of Glenmede.
This individual — for whatever role that we’re talking about getting them out of, whether it’s driving the car, running the company, or being the trustee of the trust — a lot of their self identity is invested in that role, right?
They’ve been the key person. They’ve been the person everyone relies on, and so we should be delicate about removing them from that role.
While families should seek a health evaluation sooner rather than later if they see signs of cognitive decline or dementia in a matriarch or patriarch, the succession process shouldn’t be rushed, advisors told CNBC.
Cognitive decline is usually a gradual process, and aging adults’ needs can change over time, noted Valerie Galinskaya, head of the Merrill Center for Family Wealth.
Handing over family affairs should not resemble flipping a light switch, she said.
For instance, when a client expressed concerns that his mother, who managed multiple properties, was no longer as sharp as she used to be, Galinskaya said she framed the conversation as financial planning for the entire family.
Rather than focusing on the mom’s faculties, the advisor asked how each family member viewed success across different time horizons.
It’s essential to have a consensus among the siblings before broaching these subjects with a parent, Galinskaya said.
While some advisors prefer in-person meetings in family homes, Galinskaya said she prefers a neutral space like an office.
She also said virtual meetings can be surprisingly helpful.
If there is a family member who takes up a lot of the airtime, Zoom is actually a good way, she said.
Everyone is a rectangle.
She recommends setting ground rules, such as not allowing spouses or partners to participate.
To prepare, Galinskaya has clients fill out pre-meeting questionnaires, which are kept confidential, about their objectives and concerns.
Often family members admit to feeling judged for how they spend their money or resentful of how finances are used as a means of control, she said.
As for the succession process, it’s not just about who will take over the family business, but also about how to ensure a smooth transition and maintain family relationships.
By following these four tips, wealthy families can prepare for aging parents and avoid a succession crisis.
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